I’ve never been much of a gym shower-er.  Then again, I’ve never been a member of a gym like the one I am now. 

I basically joined the country club.  This place has a full service café, a spa, every group class you could ever imagine, a Kids Academy that offers lessons in things such as karate, t-ball, field hockey, gymnastics, swim lessons (and did I mention I can have up to THREE HOURS A DAY OF THESE LESSONS?!?)…

And then there are the showers. 

Oh my gosh, the showers.  Not only are the showers all that I dream my home bath might be one day but they also provide shampoo, conditioner, body wash, Q-tips, mouthwash, razors, happiness…like WHAT IN THE WORLD?!?!

I almost cried when I took a tour as I dreamt of how different my bathing times would be.

Gone are the days where I have to wonder if the blood-curdling screams coming from outside the door are because an actual finger has been severed or if someone’s snack was stolen because I decided I needed three-and-a-half minutes to myself. 

No longer will I shave my pits with a rusty-ole razor because it was used in an experiment with the bar of soap and a Batman figurine by a child. 

Or how about the shampoo that is always and forever diluted from being dunked in bath water?  I’ve even taken steps to prevent this by hiding my own shampoo but they still KEEP FINDING IT!

And we won’t even discuss the difference in cleanliness between the two facilities.  I actually cringe every time I step foot in mine at home because I KNOW WHO I’M RAISING.  It’s a total crap shoot in what I’m standing in…and a very real possibility that it’s actual “crap” if Daly did what Daly does. 

This is a lot of words to describe my excitement but it really is that good.  However, and hence the blog, I come to you needing advice. 

Because, like I said, I’ve never been a gym shower-er.  Therefore, I don’t really know how to act in the locker room. Meaning I have a lot of questions that I’m hoping you’ll have answers for. 

For example, the walk from the locker to the shower…how does that take place? I can’t say I’m super comfortable going au-natural.  After all, I would hate for the other ladies to envy my stretch marks and cellulite. 

But today I just felt confused.  I took my gym bag (I have one now!) and a towel* to the shower and then found myself in a predicament because there’s no bench in the shower. So how do I go from point A to point B? And if this is a dumb question, give me a dumb answer.  I can take it.  I just need to know. 

Also, how long is too long to steal all the hot water? At home, all of us are on a clock because there is but ONE shower for SIX people so we have to conserve. Well, five people now because I have a new option.  And I sure will drive ten minutes for said option.  

And it’s probably not a big deal.  I am sure I didn’t go a minute over forty-five.  Just asking…for a friend. 

*How do they get the towels to smell so incredibly fresh?  Despite my attempts with fabric softener, vinegar, essential oils, my home towels still come out stanky and like a wet animal has taken them for a spin.